Revenge of the Bytables (2012) - A challenge for Mr.Babyface

This post can be well understood when you have read my previous article "Unbytables". That post was more about the introduction to the Bytes. This is just a sequel to that post, which explains more of my recent experience with the "Bytes" in my office.

In the last 2 months we had a series of never-ending work, mostly due to our own mistakes :p. We started to stay late more often. So we required a lot of relaxation to equilalize the pressure. During this time we got a news that our ByteLead Mr.Chan become a father. Most of the people did not believe it, as they never knew that he was married. Mr.Chan is a very young looking fair fellow. He has a innocent boy face, so his face will not match with his age. One girl was in disbelief and asked "You mean that good little boy has become a father". Some of my friends were looking for a opportunity to "byte" Mr.Chan, as he is the prime person behind all the "Bytes" against them. So they planned to use this oppourtunity to "Byte" him and started to attack on whatever chances they got. They started to call him as "little dad".

One day Mr.Chan brought a photo of his daughter and showed it to us. Chan said, "I took this photo with lot of effort, she is always moving and making my job difficult". He was so proud about it. But we hardly noticed any difference when comparing his face with his daughter's face. Mr.Manju told that, "nobody can win if we run a competition to find 6 differences in his face and daughter's face". After that incident Mr.Chan was given the name "Mr.Baby-Face", which made him very angry. Some new Bytes were created based on this lead. Chan found this really irritating and looked for a oppourtunity to divert the Bytes into someone else.

Mr.Chan's oppourtunity came in quickly when a new guy named Rathodkar joined our company. When Rathodkar entered our working area, we suddenly felt a wind blowing across our closed room. We were surprised to see this "Indian Masala film Hero" like entry. Chan later explained us that, one window was purposefully opened by some culprits to welcome Rathodkar and, that helped to make the wind blowing effect. Rathodkar was a very calm serious fellow. Even though he tried to be serious, we tried to find something special from him to make the fun "Bytes". Chan monitored him closely and found the following strange behaviours from Rathodkar.

1) Rathod always wanted to share his point of view in any discussion. Whatever we discuss, he will pretend as if he knows it already and tell some additional detail about it to divert topic. At times he predicted the future, sometimes he gave confident statistics from the past events. So most of discussions were controlled by him. He always insists on what he speaks, so Chan found it difficult to convince him. Chan never liked any others taking control of his discussions.

2) Rathod hate vegetable foods. So he will eliminate all the vegetable curries from his lunch packet before start eating. Each day we got some fun watching him carefully eliminating those vegetable stuff.

3) Rathod wanted to save some time from the Tea-time, so he reduced the time of eating the biscuits by keeping 3 biscuits on top of each other and eat them in one go.

Chan had no problems to create some "Bytes" based on this strange behaviours. Chan named Rathod with the "Kaanth" extension to make the name as "Rathod-Kaanth". He gave a brief explanation for naming in such a way. He listed the following abilities as the Rathod's talents.

1. Rathod knows all the things in the world

2. He can predict what will happen

3. He knows what has happened in the past

He added that, all these features are remarkably similar to the Super star Rajnikaanth's abilities. So the name Rathodkar was changed to Rathod-Kaanth. But Rathod got irritated and asked "If I know past & future, why on earth I ask those work realted technical questions from you guys". Chan took a while to answer, "I am sure you are evaluating us by asking those technical questions, to which you already knew the answers. You will give feedback about us to our management. If we have answered those questions well, we will get a increment otherwise we will be axed". We laughed loudly and Rathod had no arguments for this. We improvized the story, in which Rathod is described as a spy of management.

By doing this, we were able to control Rathod from getting into our discussions. So he started to think twice before speak any words with us. This is how we controlled a guy by using the "Bytes". Have you tried the "Bytes". Try it now and enjoy..

UnBytables - Will you stand a Byte?

Generally every job gives stress to the workers. People get stressed up and will struggle to release the stress. The jobs involving brain work, is always stressful to the mind compared to the other jobs. When you spend more hours you get more stress. Life of the Software guys aren't that easy. They get more stress and they used to work for longer hours. So they tend to get more diseases, which are directly related to their mental health. So it is so essential to relax while you work. Some companies do insist on the activities, which helps to relax the minds. As individuals, we need to know what is good for us relax your mind.

This post is getting more formal & serious, so let me switch to the fun part of it.

We used to have some relaxing sessions during our T-time & lunch time with our friends in our office. Remarkably we always attend these sessions despite we had tight schedules with our work. During these breaks we make some funny discussions which help us to get some laugh. To understand the rest of the post it is "damn" essential to understand the following terminology, that we use during those sessions.


Terminology

Byte - (This is not referring to the typical Computer Science term "Bytes"). A series of conversation, which makes fun of one guy. Usually that fun conversation will contain the mixture of real & fiction stories. Most of the time one guy will be targeted and people around him will laugh at him. Usually these bytes will be centered around one silly mistake and new fictitious stories will be created around that. Byting - This is the verb, which is used to refer to a fun discussion, which basically targets a poor guy. Bytable Guy - A guy who is more vulnerable for the Bytes. For instance, if one guy makes more silly mistakes very often, he will be targeted more. Technically speaking, the guy who has implemented the "Bytable" interface. ByteMan - This is the guy who makes fun of others. It is believed that, He should have the ruthless and cunning ability to make fun of others without mercy. BreakingPoint - Each Bytable Guy has a different tolerance level that they can let others to laugh at them. When this BreakingPoint reaches, ByteMan will get the first warning and might end up with a death threat. Unbytable Guy - This is a rare kind, as each human is tend to make mistakes. So we can use this to refer a guy, who rarely targeted with the bytes. Byte Lead - This is similar to the DevLead, TechLead... This is used to refer to the Guy who leads these Byte Campaigns. We have got a naturally talented guy in our Office, who can lead these Byte sessions with his hilarious fun.

Let me explain a small incident, which can help you to understand the terms specified above.


Example Byte :

During one of the knowledge sharing sessions, one of my friend Mr.McGrath fell asleep. He could not keep himself awake during the presentation. One Presenter noticed it and spill the story outside. That day, we were having Tea and suddenly we got to know about this incident. Our Byte Lead Mr.Chan was so convinced with this true story and started to tell fictitious stories by adding the following points.

i) He was snoring, so that audience found it hard to hear the presenter
ii) Presenters were so upset with their own voice, as their voice level is not enough to keep Mr.McGrath awake
iii) He was sleeping in the Presentation room even after it's completion and awaken by the person, who came to clean up that room.

In addition to these points he added many more funny thoughts and tried to make Mr.McGrath very angry. This story kept on continuing for 2 days. Finally Mr.McGrath stopped coming with us for the Tea or Lunch. He gave some lame excuses to avoid meeting us. He told that he felt so thirsty and had a early Tea before us.

Mr.Chan was very unhappy due the Mr.McGrath's absence. I had a chat with Mr.Chan regarding this. Finally he came up with a new idea to get him for our Tea breaks. He said "We should not make any more Bytes against him. So that he will come to our discussions, we will continue to make Bytes on others except Mr.McGrath. Later we will start the Bytes against him after 2 weeks".

Now we give less trouble to Mr.McGrath in terms of Byting. I wonder what would happen after these 2 weeks of peace-keeping period.

I was so worried on how these Bytes have become more serious in my life :)

Warning : titles "The Rise of Unbytables" & "Revenge of the Bytables" are already registered, so please refrain from using it. It is against the Blog Title CopyRight law.